Victorian Cupid Valentine Greeting Card Red Umbrella

With a curly-haired, wide-eyed expression radiating the specific energy of someone who absolutely knows what they're doing and wants you to feel weird about it, this cherub floats through a fever dream of blue forget-me-nots and rogue red hearts having made some very bold life choices — chief among them, wearing nothing but a ruffled golden skirt while wielding an enormous red parasol adorned with a jaunty pink bow on its handle. The wings are small, the umbrella is enormous, and the physics of this situation are frankly nobody's problem. 'Valentine Greeting,' says the card, as if floating naked through a floral hellscape while gripping a decorative weapon is a perfectly normal way to say 'I love you.'