Victorian Valentine's Day Greeting Card with Girl & Roses

Intensely unsettling in its aggressively wholesome energy, this card presents a curly-haired blonde child emerging from an archway of die-cut roses like a tiny pink specter who has seen things, clutching a bouquet of white flowers with the serene confidence of someone who absolutely will not be taking questions. The elaborate floral arch frames a pastoral scene complete with what appears to be a church steeple in the background — because when you're aiming for 'romantic holiday,' naturally you invoke the Lord while a child stares you down. At the bottom, flanked by a heart-and-arrow wreath and a parade of tiny red hearts, the sentiment reads 'My love is yours through all life's mazes / May Fortune but show you its happiest phases' — which is either deeply sweet or the most passive-aggressive Valentine ever committed to embossed cardstock.